warren ellis' the sunday hangover

«So in preparation for today I bought a bottle of something called Head Start, which calls itself “thirst aid for hangovers.” A hypotonic energy drink, it seems to be the current iteration of “smart nutrients,” which we all crammed into our bodies in the late Eighties/early Nineties in the hope that we could be both drunks-and-druggies and immortal geniuses. This thing is stuffed with easy-burn carbs, electrolytes, vitamins and detoxing amino acids. It sounds great, and probably a lot less hellacious on the system than some of the gunk we necked in the cyberdelic days to try and light up our punished synapses after nights of cheap beer, worse whisky and licking the yellowed bottoms of bathtubs that the local E was mixed in last week.

I can’t get the bottle open. The lid seems to be fused shut somehow.

Head Start is the most horrific joke on drunks I have ever seen perpetrated in the field of retail. I can’t cut this fucking thing open.»

[http://suicidegirls.com/news/culture/22049/]



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